Sirkulo

Time flies so fast and I didn’t it’s my son’s first month today. I am so happy and at the same time pressured since I want to be the dad for him. I want to be a good provider, i want to be a reliable source of strength for my family…in short, I want to be superman for them…..but sometimes I get so tired physically but it’s okay. Because whenever I see them I feel refreshed. They’re the most important part of my life now. and I’ll do anything to keep them safe and secure. I found myself in them. 

Panulat na pansulat sa pusong ulila

Kathang isip na dula na puno ng pluma

Hapis na kaisipan,  tigib ng dusa

Aliwin ang pagkabaliw, sa usok umasa

Dinggin ang dalangin, sariwain ang pangarap

Halik ng pagtitiis ang syang kakalinga

Alabok ng parabula sa kaisipang may duda

Hayaang maglaon, mawala ng kusa

…What the hell is happening?? I don’t have any idea…..I’m tired and bruised….I’m overused….I just wished you stabbed me with a knife straight to my heart…..this awful why are you like her?  what is happening with you? I don’t have any idea…..don’t you know how it hurts when you do that? you’re killing me….you’re killing me……..

The sun rises above the hillcrest,
As does the joy of my heart;
Rays of warmth and love,
From her I will never depart.

Fresh dew upon the grass,
Young birds chirp in their nests;
I watch her gently sleep,
My love to her I silently profess.

I enjoy the stillness and calm,
Watching as she smiles and dreams;
She brings me to stillness and peace,
Like that of a slow flowing stream.

My heart and soul flow with love,
And I smile as I quietly reflect;
I’ve been handed a sweet princess,
A sweet princess to love and to protect.

A vow to myself I make,
As she quietly sleeps away;
To love and always cherish her,
Until my last breath… until my last day.

Just in case, I will leave my things packed so I can run away  

I cannot trust these voices

I don’t have a line of prospects that can give some kind of peace

There is nothing left to cling to that can bring me sweet release

 I HAVE NO FEAR OF DROWNING IT’S THE BREATHING THAT’S TAKING ALL THIS WORK

Empty spaces, with shadows hit the streetlights

Warning signs and weight of tired conversations

In the absence of a shoulder, in the abscess of a thief

On the brink of this destruction, on the eve of bitter sweet

Now all the demons looked like prophets and I’m living out every word they speak

Do you know what I mean when I say? I don’t want to be alone

I HAVE NO FEAR OF DROWNING IT’S THE BREATHING THAT TAKING ALL THIS WORK

…It’s time to pass on the crown…the prince becomes a father and his child Hananaiah will have the crown,

This is my precious son! I am so happy to get to see him. Finally! Let me tell you the meaning of his name….His name is like a prayer to God Hananaiah mean God is gracious so I pray to God that he would pour his unlimited grace to my child…James means to supplant and prayer is that He would uproot all the  bad events in our life and that He would plant new things on our way…I dedicate my child to God and He is free to use my child in any way He wants

Without sorrow life is zero
We must accept fate’s arrow
If our efforts are thorough
Our sorrow, God will borrow

Sorrows nicely shape our mind
Sorrows stop our being blind
Via sorrows, remedies we find
Sorrows are indirectly kind

In the absence of sorrow
Our mind does not grow
We think not like a hero
Our attitude is made narrow

Sorrows must be overcome
For which efforts we welcome
At last strong we become
This is sorrows’ outcome

Our will-power, sorrows increase
To our heart, sorrows supply grease
Our talents, only sorrows release
In a gist, sorrows supply peace

Every sorrow at last dies
Not because of our cries
But because our soul tries
Life and success, sorrow ties

Sorrow less person is none
Sorrow is sure, if life has begun
‘Sorrow trains brains’ is a slogan
Sorrow is a tamable dragon

In sorrow, all must dip
By coming under its grip
All are lashed by sorrow’s whip
To every life, sorrow makes a trip

Now sorrow will somehow vanish
But you cannot fully relinquish
Further sorrows, time will furnish
From life, sorrow, none can banish

Life and sorrow are closely associated
By life, sorrow is very much fascinated
By sorrow, peace is initially confiscated
Sorrow grows when life is sophisticated. 

Mailrangam Visvanathan Venkataraman

                Once upon a time an unwanted prince was born, His mother doesn’t want him to live for no reason at all. The prince grew up in knowledge but the world was not that complicated. No not at all. He never knew a father’s love; he never knew a mother’s touch. He knows not one. Not one at all.

                The young boy became a man and has to stand on his two feel, Yes he is the youngest you may think he is the least. But I beg to disagree, He is more than that. In his youth he learned how to survive. He learned to stand on his own and learned to sacrifice. He was only 15 but he became the breadwinner of the family. He was only 16 but it’s more like he became the father to his older siblings. But then the time came that every member of the family has to go their own ways…for years the prince tried to look for each one of them. Now he succeeds.

                For a long time the young prince looked for his mom, He has traveled not only to do what he suppose to but also to look for his missing mom. For years and years he had yearn to see his mom and at last he did the first step is done. Next was his older brother the envious one. He thought I am luckier than him but it never came to his mind he is luckier than me. For he knew what it is to be love by our parents. But I never knew that, I guess I never will, But then I found him he is still the same. Never wanted any responsibility, he just wants to play. Through him I traced my dad, A father who embraced his vices, The prince hates him, and even rejected him I never been proud of him. I rebelled against him because I am right. But I am wrong as well, I am right to hate his vices, but I am wrong to hate him. In the last few months of his life I was able to say sorry to him. He also apologized and told the prince that if he could only turn back the years he would be a good father to me, But then I said sorry it’s too late I cannot be a young boy anymore, not after all the things I’ve been through, He shared some wise thoughts to me that I never expected from him. I never thought that he could be that wise,  Maybe because of his years, But then I never knew I was living with him in his final moments for his curtains is about to close……”Remember, remember the month of October, where things have been hidden and a promise was made.”

                Yes my father made me swear to find my older sister, to build our family who he had destroyed. To redeem the times and regain the relationship but I never took it seriously…I never thought he’ll fall in a deep sleep. The promise was kept and now is done. I have found my sister with her daughter in her arms. Now, I am an uncle I am so happy to see her, But in spite of all those good news, there’s something missing, I have completed my family but there’s something lacking, There’s a deep surge in my heart and I don’t know what it is. The prince has to find the missing piece…..